How to Build Resiliency

DSC_0024I feel that one of the best ways to learn is to teach.  So, when I read “The 5 Best Ways to Build Resiliency” in Experience Life magazine (September 2011 edition – you gotta love how current “waiting room reading material” is.) and appreciated its tips, I wanted them to stick in my head and reinforce a lot of what I already know from my own life adversity.

A frequent message from our church is that you “have to get uncomfortable to get comfortable.”  I’ve certainly had “uncomfortable” over the past 10 – 15 years of my life, but the “comfortable” and neat life that has come out of it is truly amazing.  The tips the article talks about truly have helped:

1) Pump Up Your Positivity

“Resilient people, on the other hand, tend to find some silver lining in even the worst of circumstances.”  I’m not perfect, but I try hard to remember and often times do this.  This was reinforced in me by the same actions of one of my favorite bosses.  Regardless of how rough things got, he always saw the glass half full side.  I really appreciated and learned from that.

2) Live to Learn

When I went to the University of Phoenix, they always touted the motto, “Be a Life Long Learner.”  I liked that motto, and like what it does for you.  When you learn, you grow; you keep your brain, spirit and soul in top condition and ready for whatever comes at you.

3) Open Your Heart

There are several things you can say here.  One is “karma.”  Another is “A man reaps what he sows.”  Being a blessing, for me, always has always put “reserve energy in the tank” for rough times.

4) Take Care of Yourself

As hard as it is to actually get out and do it, I always realize after the fact how good I feel after exercising.  If I’m in the middle of adversity, and if I can convince myself to go do it (run, go to the gym, even just take a walk), I always have a much better outlook and can deal with what is in front of me when I return.

5) Hang on to Humor

Making light of something always helps make the heavy lighter for sure.  Plus, the positive energy, just like in exercising, is a good boost to help one get over the hump.  If I’ve had a hard day, one of the things I reach for at night is a comedy to make me laugh.

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And there you have it.  Even just thinking through these things and re-living these thoughts and feelings was a good boost for me just now (thank you Shawn Achor).  I hope it does the same for you.

Foresight Update 2013

New  year @ Times Square

Happy New Year!

The New Year is always a great time to make plans, realize dreams, make decisions and start a new. The last post I did regarding Foresight said just that – that we were starting a new. We found a new programmer and it seemed like we were moving forward.

Alas, Foresight is stuck once again.

Sadly, the current programmer, whom had made some good headway, seems to have disappeared. I’m so amazed how often that happens. I sure hope he is okay, but, frustrating that finding good help is hard. So, the update beyond that is there is no update. The New Year should bring new plans and direction. But, with Foresight, I’m just not sure if I should continue to fight adversity and press on, or, recognize defeat and finally throw in the towel.

Personally, because I needed a system where I can share my To Do list with an assistant, I have been using Evernote heavily, and really liking it. Something in the new year I may do is write more about that.

Anyway, that’s the Foresight update.  Make it a great New Year. I hope you have great things coming down the pipe for you.

Moving Forward

Well, we didn’t get enough votes to be considered for the grant.  But, we did get votes – thank you for that.  I appreciate it.

I’ve been in a deep quandry about what to do.  Do I keep going with Foresight?  Do I pull the plug on it?  As a part of this thinking, I watched an older TED TALKS entitled “Tony Robbins asks why we do what we do.”

As you may or may not know from my blog, I believe that “teaching” is the best way to “learn.” So, I want to write some things out that struck me from this talk.  (FWIW, these are my own interpretations; I may not have Tony’s ideas exactly right – but – this is what resonated with me.)

Decision is the ultimate power.

Basically and simply, you have to make a decision to move forward – that decision will empower you.

Resourcefulness

Many times, excuses like, “I don’t have enough time,” or, “I don’t have the money” stop you from moving forward.  You have to be resourceful; there are ways around these – you just have to do it / find a way.

Decisions of Destiny

You have to ask some questions to move forward.  For example, “What am I going to focus on?”  Focus = Feeling – if you feel it, and, you focus on the future, and, you focus more on serving others than yourself, you can and will move forward.

The Somethings

So, I didn’t catch what this was titled, but, these things are all, espeically the last six, that you have to focus on to move forward:

State

This is the in the moment; you have to identify where you are now.

Target

Where do you want to go.

Certainty

Identify where you know things can go; what is certain / absolutely sure.

Uncertainty

Realize that there will be things that are uncertain.  This ties right in to something else I’ve heard over time and written about here – “you have to get uncomfortable to get comfortable,” and to move forward.

Significance

I think this related to what is significant about moving forward – what will happen or what will be significant if you do this.

Connection or Love

You can’t move forward without connecting to something outside of you.  If it’s all about “you,” you won’t succeed.  This can be a connection to something, or, to someone as in love.  I’ve seen this in my own life as my Christianity has grown.  Also, with this and now a solid love and connection to my soulmate, I do feel like I can succeed.

Grow

You have to be a life long learner and continue to grow.

Contribute Beyond Ourselves

That relates to “connection.”  If you can find a way to contribute in your efforts to something beyond you, it helps empower your destiny.

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So, reflecting on that really helped today to bounce back from the “agony of defeat.”  I made a decision to move forward; I’m becoming more resourceful by finding new avenues to a programmer, decided what I’m going to do, evaluted the present and how the future could look – and how it can be accomplished.  I got uncomfortable by getting out in the garage, getting the development machine moved, connected to an external RDP so the new resource can get to it, and, related to the evaluation, re-did the “bug list” to make it more accomplishable.  I’ve chatted on line with other software people to get new perspective.  Most importantly, I got outside myself – in my case, prayed and meditated about it.  I feel better and excited to move forward.

I wanted to write this as, again, a way to learn, but also as an update on where we are.  Also, this fits perfectly into the “focus” theme I’ve had going here on the blog once in a while as focus is where I and you need to be / to have.  I hope this helps you as much as it did me.