When I was in high school, our English teacher asked us to write a paper about a person who meant a lot to us and who had influenced us. I wrote mine on Steve McGarrett, the lead character in the old TV show Hawaii Five-O. Played by Jack Lord, this was a calm, cool, collective guy who never sweats. Even as I write, I still feel an internal connection back to writing that paper. Though fictional, I still noticed him and sure wanted to be more like him as opposed to Archie Bunker for sure! I take time out fairly often to notice people and think about the impact of their lives. Lately, this has been on my mind even more with the passing of my grandmother. On top of that, Michael Hyatt wrote his post about The Noticer Project and with that I knew it was time to write.
My Dad said something to me to many, many years ago that I do not know if he would remember (because it was kind of an “in passing” comment) but made a big impact on me. He was on the road and visiting the grave of his aunt off in a small town in Oklahoma. Apparently, the grave and cemetery was not well taken care of. The grave markers had weeds all around them. Of that to me he said, “Man, when you are gone, you are gone! Nobody remembers you.” That resonates in my mind from time to time. I guess I struggle with that some as don’t want to be forgotten when I am gone. It is sad that people do become forgotten or not as noticed as they should be when they are gone. I personally remember my Great Aunt very well. We called her “Aunt Bunny” as her name was (is? Did it go away?) Laaressa Cox McBurney. I have great memories of summer visits to her and my Grandparents Rufus and Elsie Cox at their cabin. So, I sure haven’t forgotten her or them. And thanks to the Internet, while writing this post, I found a tiny amount of evidence that she isn’t “gone.” On a whim I did a search on her name and found a post from someone interested in learning more about their surname. They mentioned a book she wrote (another way she isn’t forgotten) about her and her husband’s life. Someone else in the post asked where they can get a copy. So, her spirit is alive and well. Well, I knew that her spirit was alive and well (thanks to God), but her memory and “notice” is alive and well also.
With all that in mind, Michael’s timing is pretty good. Here are the five people I want to notice:
Grandmother Mangelsdorf
As I mentioned earlier, my grandmother passed away recently. She was 100. She lived off in another state and sadly I did not get to see her very often as a child nor as an adult. However, she wrote me letters all the time as a child and into adulthood. With these letters I always felt a connection to her. She brought the appreciation to my life to slow down and literally “smell the flowers.” She loved flowers. She always wrote about what she was planting and growing at that time. In the winter, she would always talk about how even though it was snowing, the moisture would be good for the flowers in the spring. She always seemed to be an optimist; even as my grandfather was gravely affected by Parkinson’s disease. I feel her kindness and calmness in me every day. She never wanted to and never drove a car – a testament to having control over your destiny and leading your life the way you want to.
My Father
My father has said and done a lot of things that have impacted, guided and motivated me over my life. The above is certainly an example of one of those things; something that has constantly driven me to be an impact and blessing in the world. In addition, he has always been an incredible entrepreneur. When I was a kid, he was always working on projects that were the first of their kind. He designed and built the first modern, “cool / new concept” (my words) apartment building in Albuquerque that utilized renewable resource energy (solar). Apartments and solar were not trendy anywhere, let alone New Mexico, in the late 70′s – but he had the vision. Another project was the renovation of the Wool Warehouse – an old brick warehouse that was a beautiful, but long abandoned, building in downtown. He again had vision to bring something new to Albuquerque – wanting to renovate it into the first “cool / new concept” (again, my words) incredibly amazing office space. Now, that project didn’t make it, but I remember being amazed at my Dad taking a concept like that, planning it, drawing it, getting the plans drawn up professionally and moving forward with it as far as he could. (As a side note for my Father, and thanks again to the Internet, a quick search shows that someone bought the warehouse just last year and is moving forward with making it a great building). My Dad knew, and was friends with, the Mayor of Albuquerque. He, on a whim, decided because he really loved (and played as a hobby) flamenco guitar that he would organize a concert and bring the world’s best flamenco player to Albuquerque – even though he certainly was not in, nor had experience with, the concert business. I truly have an amazing dad who, even as I write this, always makes me want to do more with my life.
My Daughters
Divorce ranks right up there with the hardest experience one will ever experience. A marriage gone badly is a close runner up. However, for me, I accept that 2nd place “prize” and would never go back and redo any of it because it gave me the most incredible daughters a dad could ever have. They both have a great sense of humor (sarcastic, like me!). Both are really smart. Both are really generous and giving people. Both try things like summer camp in the mountains and foods even I would never eat. They both are incredible spirits that amaze me in their own ways. My oldest is always a forward and logical thinker – wanting to get her PhD in whatever is appropriate and then build, own and run her own zoo. My youngest is a free spirit, wanting to live life for today and enjoy it. I think about them all the time and smile. They complete my life and are a huge part of making it a life well lived, regardless of the circumstances you may face.
My Fiance’
Finding the right soul mate to live your life with is truly incredible – and I have found mine. I have been dating Kimberly for over two years now and today we are still as much in love and have as much fun as we did on Day One. She and I met via Yahoo! Personals (yes, we are an Internet dating success story – there is the “success” of the Internet again). I was attracted to her when her profile read, “I’m hoping to meet an honest sincere guy with a strong love for life, a healthy spiritual balance and plenty of laughter and fun along the way.” Love and laughter is what I wanted to have in my life – and she brings it to me every day, along with a lot more. She is a great listener, always willing to (and just seems to know when to) listen when I need a listener. She is also a great partner and keeps me on track when I need a little push or guidance. She is an incredibly proactive person; a person with values and a person with what I call a “silver pool of light” all around her that impacts everyone she comes into touch with. She is always a blessing and I’m very happy and very blessed to have her in my life.
A Former Boss
I worked for Gerry for only about a year the first time. On my last day after I resigned to make a second attempt at being an independent consultant, we were getting off the elevator together when he said to me, “If I can leave you with one piece of advice, it would be to not be a one man shop for long – you can’t make it alone – you need a team of people.” That advice meant a lot to me and ended up helping make me successful. A few years later, he and one of my best friends who also worked for him convinced me to come back into his new software venture with a large company. Many (not all, but many) of the people who worked for this company were the most un-proactive people I had ever met. Gerry and I were really beaten up at times. However, throughout all of this, Gerry taught me another lesson – that the glass is always half full and that is the part you have to concentrate on.
God
Having a relationship with His son, Jesus Christ, is something very new to me. I was never religious before. Then, my Fiancé’ – early in our relationship – and by the guidance of God, brought me to Him. Realizing that He’s responsible for all of the above makes me more and more amazed by Him every day.
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In The Noticer Project, you are supposed to acknowledge five people. I cheated a little here 
and noticed many more. On top of that, there are more that I “notice” and think about daily, including my Mom (who brings the same qualities to me as her Mom, my Grandmother Mangelsdorf), Sara and JEMA – our dogs that I’ve considered my “therapy dogs” and have shown me that dogs truly do play, wag their tails, sleep with you at night and love you. My current bosses; who are incredible, visionary and kind people. My friends – here in Arizona, one who moved over to California and those I’ve known for ages in New Mexico. Kimberly’s Dad. There are so many people in my life that have influenced me and made me a “noticer” as well as the proactive person I am today. Thank you to all of them.
In wrapping up and in thinking about writing this post (as well as the length of it), two morals of the story emerge. One; I think one needs to stop and “smell the roses” once in awhile – putting aside the “Alarms and Interruptions.” When you do, it allows you to regroup and remember about all the tools you have in your life that allow you to conquer obstacles, move forward and enjoy life. Two; I think a lot about where we are with technology and the Internet. The Internet especially amazes me and disappoints me all at the same time. However, this post, without launching off into another manifesto, has shown me the bright side of the Internet – one that keeps memories alive and information available for generations to come.
